A Fragmented Heart

Tell me sorrow, how long must you caress me?
Will you not let go ever?
Ever I wished, to befriend joy
I would not say, I have been happy never.

Intricacies of the human mind
Can I ever even realize?
For I have let go most wishes to
Understand another human.

Love always seemed to me like a far off isle
Who's shore is all I ever could see
Glistened my eyes like polished chrome
Blinded by it's beauty.

In metaphors I shall present
Few words of truth
Of how I gave away my heart to few
The gift was refused
I, confused
Received the red and to my bed
I succumbed
Cried a lot, that I did
Many a time when from all I hid
My cushion has seen the most of me
A fragmented heart
Was always returned to me.

I always wondered why it is so
I still wonder the same.
There are very few who love me truly
Everything else seems more like a game.
My mother and father has been there always
And secretly my brother too.
My grandparents have been the most caring indeed
Sacrifices never more have I seen.
But in people of the same age
With whom I have most fun interacting
Seem they do, selfish indeed
Am I selfish too?
I wish to know, for know I not
Did none of you ever love me?
For all I have seen is you only need
Me, when you need something.

I have only been extracted
Many a time not just once
At least it is still better
Than capitalists extracting from all.
In a strong crisis I currently suffer
Its nature being existential.
How I wish many a time
To simply just dial.
A certain few I would like to talk to
But then I remember, how they all,
Treated me like a pest
I back off, thinking it is the best.

My country remains diverse
But selfishness is at large
Why is love so hard to find?
Why is it so truly
I never knew, but I hint
A shadow crawls in all our hearts
Growing with the ticking clock
In some a bit too rapidly
What is it must you wonder?
Let me tell you what I hint
Selfish is the name given
To this creature in our veins.